


Doomed to Failure

by DimensionArchives (cynicallyunorthodox)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 11:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3132521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynicallyunorthodox/pseuds/DimensionArchives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Just something cutesy involving and combination of Karkat, Dave, John, and Sollux. Davekat and Soljohn are my otps, but I love these four and I'm not to picky about my ships. ^.^"</p><p>How about polyamory???</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doomed to Failure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZADRGirl55](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZADRGirl55/gifts).



Holy shit, it feels like you're going on your first date again. You've been on dates with guys, you've been on dates with girls, you've done double dates. Some might even say you're the dating expert, but holy shit you never imagined you'd be doing this and goddammit its more difficult than you thought.

How does a date with four guys even work?

Whose house will you guys go back to? How will kissing work? Will you kiss one at a time or like some weird type of four-way kiss? Where will you go?

Jesus fucking christ, you are not prepared for this. Why did you agree to this?

Oh, that's right. You just happen to like three assholes who happen to like you and each other as well.

Goddammit.

Okay, first. Get dressed. That you can do. Dave's picking everyone up, and you're pretty sure you're gonna be last because you're the furthest away from his house. But really, who even knows with Strider. It's nearly 3 hours before he said he was picking everyone up though, so you're pretty sure you're fine. What to wear...

carcinoGenetecist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board DATE THAT IS DOOMED TO FAILURE

CG: WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR?  
CG: YOU NEVER TOLD US WHERE THIS DATE IS GONNA TAKE PLACE OR WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING, SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO PREPARE FOR.  
TG: just dress nice man  
TG: not super nice  
TG: im not expecting you to wear like a fucking tux  
TG: but dont just dress in fucking crocs either  
TG: john that means no heelys  
GT: man!!  
GT: but my heelys are awesome!  
TA: no john.  
TA: your heely2 2uck a22.  
GT: nobody asked you.  
TA: wow.  
TA: ii came out two have a good tiime and iim hone2tly feeliing 2o attacked riight now.  
CG: JESUS CHRIST YOU ALL ARE ASSHOLES  
TA: kk ju2t relax  
GT: yeah, karkat it's gonna be fine!  
GT: just listen to dave and dress nice!! i promise we're not planning some kind of joke on you where you dress up and we all dont.  
GT: although that would be kind of hilarious...  
GT: we're not!!  
CG: HOW REASSURING  
CG: WHATEVER, I'LL JUST DRESS MARGINALLY BETTER THAN NORMAL.  
CG: I HOPE THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH.

CG closed memo.

That wasn't as helpful as you'd hoped, but it better be good enough. You strip off your pajamas that you've been lounging in all day and toss them in the hamper. You walk over to the bathroom and turn on the water, setting it to nearly its hottest setting. While it heats up, you look at yourself in the mirror. You're not too bad looking, but you're certainly not amazing looking either. You lack defined abs like Dave and John have, but at least you can't see your ribs like on Sollux. Your dark skin and unruly dark hair just make your almost red eyes stand out more, and you still have acne scars from puberty.

Before you have a chance to overthink your entire appearance, you step into the now fully heated shower, allowing the hot water to soothe your muscles. You let out a sigh of relief. You spend a good five minutes just relaxing under the pulsating heat of the faucet before you reach towards the soap and start to wash your body down.

\--

You step out of the shower and wrap a towel around your waist, using another one to dry your hair before running a comb through it as best you can. After about ten minutes of trying to tame it, you give up and nearly throw the comb down in defeat. You walk out of the bathroom and back into your bedroom, opening up the closet and staring in frustration.

"Nice... But not super nice." You mumble to yourself. Let's start with pants. You open the drawer and decide to go with a pair of unripped black skinny jeans. Not skin tight, but not boot-cut either. You toss those on the bed and grab a plain grey button down and a pair of boxers. You walk back over to the bed and put everything on before walking over to the mirror. You look at yourself for a second before deciding to put on a red bowtie too. If it's too fancy, then that's too bad for them. You'll just outshine them.

Now that you're dressed you sit at your computer and catch up on some schoolwork. At exactly 6:30, Dave knocks on your door.

When you open the door, he's dressed in grey skinny jeans, a red button-down, and, of course, his shades. For once, he actually smiles when he greets you. Well, more like grins, but still. You're pretty sure you're doing a strange mixture of blushing and glaring when he holds out his arm for you to walk in front of him.

"Hey there babe. Is it hot in here, or is it just you." You freeze midway through locking your door before turning around to give him an incredulous look.

"By agreeing to go on a date with you guys did I automatically agree to nonstop pickup lines?" You finish locking the door before pocketing the keys and peeking out the window of your floor to look at his car. You see that John is in the front seat and Sollux is already in the back. You were right, he did pick you up last.

"Yep, pretty much." He grabs your hand and drags you to the elevator, taking advantage of the fact that you didn't realize he was holding your hand until your fingers were intertwined with his. Damn, his hand is strong.

"Great." The rest of the elevator ride is done in silence and you walk to the car. He lets go of your hand and opens the back door for you. You're surprised for a moment before just getting in.

"Nice bowtie, KK." Sollux gives you this shit eating grin and you see he's not wearing his god-awful glasses he normally uses to hide the heterochromia.

"Shut up, you're wearing a sweatervest."

"Wow, you wound me." He puts his hand on his heart dramatically and John turns around in his seat. He gives you what you assume is his attempt at being seductive look.

"Hey Karkat, is it hot in here, or is it just--"

"Dave got there first, dumbass." He scoffs before looking at the offender, who just chuckles.

"Dave! You knew I was gonna use that one!"

"Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game."

This is gonna be interesting.

\--

When you get home, you just sit on your couch and allow yourself to reflect on the past few hours.

Dave took you guys bowling. Christ, you haven't been bowling since 6th grade. It was the most cheesy yet amazing date you've ever been on.

You guys went back to your houses in the opposite order from before, except this time John walked you to your door and kissed you goodbye after Sollux and Dave had had their turn in the car. You're pretty sure you turned about 8 shades of red at the fact that John and Dave had just said 'awww' when you kissed Sollux in front of them.

Kissing works pretty normally. No strange four-way kisses, everyone just kisses everyone else at various times. There's no real shame in it, and you like the way that you don't feel jealous seeing Dave and John or John and Sollux kiss in front of you.

Overall, you like it. It's your turn next time, apparently, and you're going to treat them to a movie marathon at your place. Hopefully cuddling with four people will be better than cuddling with two.

carcinoGenetecist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FOUR ASSHOLES WHO DATE

CG: GOODNIGHT DOUCHEBAGS  
CG: <3

CG stopped responding to memo.


End file.
